Writer Reality: A Day in my Life
I hesitated to post this blog because my writing “routine” often varies in unpredictable ways. But since becoming an author, I’ve had many people ask me how I balance life as a mom and a writer. I’m never sure how to answer that question because the idea of “balance” seems like a distant horizon line that I’ve never reached. Still, in the interest of being forthcoming, I thought I’d show you how I do the day.
More accurately, I’m sharing my hour-by-hour writing routine for a day.
I should note that when the day I chose to document went off the rails, I almost scrapped this idea entirely. But this is real life, right? As much as I begin each day with a list and a plan, I often need to accommodate surprises.
Please keep in mind that my days are probably distinct from yours. I work from home. I have four kids. While the baby years are behind me, I’m still crafting a schedule to meet the changing needs of my family. You may be in different season of life. Whatever your schedule looks like, I hope you take some inspiration to weave creative time into your day.
And I think you’ll find that my reality looks less like being visited by a “muse,” than finding the grit inside to keep showing up and to protect my time.
My day begins at 6:00 am. In the summer, I immediately started writing as my kids were still asleep. I loved writing in those quiet early hours, but I’ve shifted gears as we’ve fallen back into the rhythm of a school day.
6:00 - 6:30: We woke up to an intense thunderstorm! I took a moment to watch the rain by the window, before making school lunches and one very early breakfast.
6:30 - 7:15: This is typically when I’ll prep a social media post, and this morning was no different. I’ve found that people are stunned by how much of writing life involves, well, marketing. I know that many authors feel frustrated by the marketing aspect of the job, but I’ve always loved connecting with people. (If you’re on social media, my current favorite platform is Instagram. I’d love to get to know you better there!)
7:15 - 8:30: This is my mad dash! I roused my younger three kids, made them breakfast (with hearts!), helped them get ready for school, and tried to feed myself as well. It’s a wild stretch of time, and I always breathe a sigh of relief in the car lane.
8:45: The rain passed! Back from school drop-off, I took my dog for a walk. (Don’t worry, I’m not neglecting him! My husband takes him out earlier in the morning.)
9: 00 - 10:00: I managed administrative tasks: answering emails, working on my website, and posting on social media. (I’ve tried to write at this time, but I’ve found I’m too wired to instantly immerse myself in deep writing. I’ve come to think of this hour as the transition period.) I also managed to squeeze in some Pilates with weights. Very exciting stuff, I know!
10:30 - 12:00: After getting ready for the day, I headed to my desk to tweak a writing project. I love how the word “tweak” takes the pressure off. Research was required, but I live for deep research and writing. It’s my love language!
12:00 - 1:00: Reading an ARC! I’m fortunate to have received an advanced reader copy of an amazing author’s book! I can’t wait to tell you more about it soon. I briefly forgot to make myself lunch, and this forgetting-my-basic-human-needs is the ultimate sign of a wonderful book for me.
My lunch usually involves my laptop. Fortunately, a working lunch is often a reading lunch for this girl.
1:00 - 3:00: Editing my manuscript. This sounds so elegant, doesn’t it? Reality presented more challenges. Because of the intense rain and carpool logistics, I received so many texts about kid activities later in the evening. After the interruptions, I found it difficult to find my “flow.” It’s too easy in these moments to give up on the work. I look at these frustrating moments as waves, and I’m always proud of myself when I ride them out instead of calling it quits.
As an aside, I hope you’ve gotten the sense that I am fiercely protective of my time. Though I dip into social media throughout the day, I don’t engage with anyone unless it involves my family or a scheduled call. For me, producing quality work hinges on safeguarding my attention.
Because at 3:00 pm, I’m back at school for pick up.
3:00 - 3:30: Car lane time. I sometimes use this period for administrative work, like catching up emails or connecting on social media. On this day, I brought a book. Sue Monk Kidd’s writing is exquisite. I’m hoping to read her new book, Writing Creativity & Soul, on her creative process soon! (She probably could teach a class on protecting her writing time!)
3:30 - 5:00: Another chaotic stretch! This period of time varies based on my kids’ afternoon/evening schedules and homework needs. On this day, I made us all snacks and caught up on laundry. If I were to write a memoir, I would title one chapter, "Words and Laundry.” I’m not kidding.
I had more plans for the evening, but the weather’s moodswing changed everything.
I’d expected to post lush pictures from a trail here, as I’d made plans to meet someone to walk during my son’s soccer practice. However, his practice was canceled due to the rain. Before I could pivot to change plans, my phone vibrated with a shelter-in-place order.
A thunderstorm forced us into the basement for a while. I spent some time comforting my kiddos. When the storm had calmed somewhat (and become less scary), my kids played more in the basement while I answered emails. I lost track of time here. Maybe I worked from 5:45 - 6:30?
I think you can see on my face that I was running out of steam at this point. I do love ending a day with a list for the next one, but my head was spinning.
With my two older kids away at sports (one of which was ultimately canceled as well), we tried to make the evening’s surprises fun for my younger two kids. There was a welcome lull in the storm, and we let them choose a restaurant for the evening.
Dinner was late for us at 7:00, but the night out raised all of our spirits.
8:30 - 9:00: My husband left to pick up one of our kids from the activity bus. While he was gone, I got my younger children ready for bed. Stories. Snuggles. We take turns tucking them in, but this is always one of the sweetest moments of the day for me.
9:00 - 11:00: My middle son was dropped off from his carpool. Soon after he returned, my husband and oldest son walked through the door. They began to process of winding down their days, while we began our process of shushing them to not wake up their younger brothers. My husband helped my oldest son study, and I had some time to myself. Since the summer, I’ve been an early bird that has transitioned into a night owl. I managed to write for an hour or so before bed. At 11:00, it was lights out.
So, here is an excellent example of day that didn’t go as planned. I think it offers a fair picture of how illusory “balance” is for me. When my children are home, I try to be present for them. To put my phone down. To put my notes and laptop away.
When I have my own time, I preserve it. I don’t watch television. I don’t take calls. I don’t even text really until the end of the business day. It’s a grind, but it’s all mine.
The concept of “balance” has never been my goal. On the day I’ve offered, you’ll see that I didn’t make a meal and didn’t do many chores. I also didn’t connect “in person” with anyone outside of my family. On other days, I prioritize connection more. Meeting up with friends makes my heart soar, and as a remote working person, I value the time with them for my mental health as well. I love taking my work outside of the home too, and I have favorite coffee shops where I enjoy parking myself for a few hours. I do prioritize my family’s needs. However, if I’m under a strict deadline, my family adjusts to help me meet it.
Instead of perfectly balanced scale, I view my writing life like a pendulum. It swings the way I need to it to go. Pendulums give us more grace, don’t they? They cannot sway in two directions at once, but we trust that they’ll always swing back.
What does your daily routine look like? Does it match mine at all?
